When Leaders Use Hurtful Words: Teaching Our Kids to Do Better

A note from us: When MJ and I started this website, we made a commitment to each other that we wouldn't wade into political debates. We're educators first, and our goal has always been to support teachers in doing the meaningful work of helping kids grow into kind, thoughtful people. This post isn't about politics—it's about the language we're all hearing in public spaces right now and how we, as teachers, can help our kids navigate it and learn to do better.

As elementary educators, we know that our kids are always watching and listening—not just to us, but to the world around them. Recently, many of us have felt unsettled by hearing public figures, including President Trump, use dehumanizing language to refer to women, including terms like "piggies" and other demeaning descriptors. These moments present both a challenge and an opportunity for us as teachers.

Why This Matters in Our Classrooms

Our kids are growing up in a world where they're exposed to political discourse through social media, family conversations, and news snippets. When they hear leaders using language that reduces people—especially women—to animal comparisons or physical appearance, it normalizes a pattern of communication that contradicts everything we teach about respect, empathy, and human dignity.

The reality is that some of our kids may come to school repeating this kind of language, perhaps without fully understanding its impact. Others may feel targeted or diminished by it. As teachers, we have a responsibility to address this, not by being preachy or partisan, but by reinforcing the values of respect and dignity that form the foundation of our classroom communities.

Understanding the Harm of Name-Calling

From MJ, our resident counselor:

I think Andrew has covered this very well, so I will try not to add too much more, but you know I have thoughts!

Name calling is a form of shame. It's dehumanizing. It reduces people to one trait, often times our worst one, or one that isn't even true. It takes away our complexity, not to mention commonality, as humans. The number of times I have heard, "Miss, we're just roasting each other!" rivals the number of times I have heard "6 - 7" this year. And I have to remind them that NO NAME CALLING is the number one rule in my classroom. Not each other, not people we don't know, and definitely not ourselves. When we reduce people to one thing, it makes it easier to dismiss them, think of them as less than, or even harm them. All name calling drives disconnection, it's like a gateway drug to deeper hatred and division. It's a tactic to avoid accountability. Absolutely no empathy, courage, or curiosity are required when we don't reject or at least question name calling. It fosters an attitude of superiority and fear. Why would we not have kids question the implications of this? Let them reflect on why people name call and how it makes people feel and think about themselves- both the person doing the name calling and the person or group being named. This is an exercise in not just critical thinking but also empathy and kindness! Depending on the age of students you work with, you can make it as micro or macro as needed.

Hatred doesn't have a place in school. The more we can normalize that attitude, the more likely kids are to carry that value with them into adulthood. And isn't that what the world needs most right now . . .

Connecting to Our Teaching Practice

Here's the good news: we're already equipped to handle this. The same strategies we use to build a positive classroom culture apply here too.

Model the language you want to hear. When we consistently use respectful language to describe all people—regardless of gender, appearance, background, or any other characteristic—we create a different norm. Our kids notice when we talk about people's ideas, actions, and character rather than focusing on their looks or using comparisons that strip away their humanity.

Name it when you see it. When kids (or characters in stories) use disrespectful language, we can pause and ask: "How do you think that person felt when they heard that? What's a more respectful way we could express that?" These small moments of reflection build awareness over time. And as MJ reminds us, we can help kids understand that name-calling isn't just about hurt feelings—it's about trying to make someone feel less worthy as a person while making others feel superior. Once kids understand that dynamic, they can spot it and reject it.

Teach the "people-first" principle. Help your kids understand that everyone deserves to be seen as a full person with thoughts, feelings, and dignity. We can explicitly teach that comparing people to animals or objects, making fun of how someone looks, or reducing anyone to just one characteristic is hurtful and wrong—no matter who does it.

Practical Strategies for Your Classroom

During read-alouds: Choose books that show characters standing up to disrespectful language or treating others with dignity despite differences. Discuss how the characters felt and what made their actions courageous.

In social-emotional learning time: Use scenarios (real or hypothetical) where someone uses mean or disrespectful language. Practice responses: "That's not kind," "Everyone deserves respect," or "I don't like when people talk that way." Talk explicitly about how name-calling is designed to shame people and create hierarchies—and how we refuse to participate in that. Ask kids to reflect on why people name-call and what it does to both the person saying it and the person hearing it.

Through writing and reflection: Ask kids to write about a time they witnessed unkind words and how it made them feel, or have them describe what a respectful classroom (or world) looks and sounds like.

With family partnerships: Without being political, we can communicate to families that we're teaching respectful communication and kindness as core values. Most families, regardless of political beliefs, want their children to be kind.

The Bigger Picture

Our elementary classrooms are where future citizens learn how to treat each other. When we hear public figures using language that degrades women or any group of people, we don't have to pretend it isn't happening. Instead, we can use our teaching skills to help kids develop a different vocabulary—one rooted in respect, empathy, and recognition of shared humanity.

We don't need to mention specific politicians or take political sides to do this work.  We simply need to be consistent in our message: All people deserve to be treated with dignity. The words we choose matter. Name-calling is meant to dehumanize and shame—and we can always choose to do better.

Our kids are counting on us to show them a better way forward. And the beautiful thing is, children are naturally inclined toward fairness and kindness—we just need to nurture and protect those instincts, even when the world around them sometimes models something different.