My Shadow is Pink
Last year, Andrew and I presented at the NAME conference in Utah. We presented on gender roles in children’s literature. We hadn’t seen this book or short film yet but I love everything about it. We see/learn things through our own lens and experiences so I connected first as a mom, then as a sister, then as a counselor/teacher. Since this is a teacher blog and not a family therapy blog, I’ll spare you the personal emotional journey this took me on and share some takeaways for school.
Don’t ever underestimate your power as a teacher. What you think, how you react, the culture you create, the words you use, MATTER. Society has a way of seeping subliminal messages into us and our kids. Even with no harmful intentions, there is a reason that every kid knows pink is a girl color and blue is a boy color. It starts before they are born with gender reveal parties and adorable nurseries. It seeps in when we read books where the boy characters get to be carefree, take risks, and solve the world’s problems but girls are celebrated for looking pretty, being thoughtful, or entertaining. The colors and words used to market female vs male products is telling. Boys are bold and strong, girls are passive and delicate. They are told this over and over in a million different ways. So, it’s really no wonder that no matter how inclusive we feel, kids will still feel alone when they start to recognize they don’t fit that mold.
Let’s try to imagine something better. What if there wasn’t a mold? What if kids really understood and believed there was no such thing as boy colors and girl colors? What if when I asked every kid in my elementary school to draw me a doctor, more than 2 kids drew a female doctor? What if when kids started to recognize who their shadow is, there was no shame, only P R I D E?!
I honestly think the revolution will start at school. Not because we are “brainwashing” kids but because this is where they come to learn to think critically, to see kindness and inclusivity modeled, and to take off whatever armor they need to be protected from the outside world. When we work in a public school, we have an obligation to make sure every kid feels seen and loved. I trust teachers more than anyone to do this heart work. Please . . . keep fighting for the light that will let every kid embrace their true shadow.
-MJ